Words of Advice

I will occasionally offer some advice to my precious readers... here's one for the winter:

If you are bundled up tightly, walking anywhere in the snow or ice, I can offer one very important piece of advice. No matter how cold your hands are, if you forgot your gloves that day, ALWAYS have your hands accessible and ready. You could go down at ANY MOMENT.

I learned this the hard way: As a freshman, I was racing to class in the snow. I had made it all the way to Armstrong Hall unharmed. Once inside, I booked it up the steps. After the second landing, with such grace and resilience, I slipped. My face broke the fall and met the above stairs abruptly. I couldn't get my fucking hands out of my jacket quick enough to catch myself. I don't know how I didn't lose a tooth or break my nose. It was a hard fall and hurt like a mother fucker. Of course this didn't go unnoticed. An older kid going down the next flight over turned around and offered a very concerned look. I don't know how he kept a straight face. He asked if I were ok, and with tears forming in my eyes, I quickly said yes and scurried up the remaining steps.

So everyone, always have your hands easily accessible... At all times, really. Especially if you're a naturally clumsy person. If you don't want to take this advice to heart, I wish for you a very similar and aggressive fall... with a much larger audience.

-DMS