Chronic Nice Guy

In addition to sharing unsolicited help targeted towards women, I'm offering pointers to my male readers as well.

First up: Relieving Chronic Nice Guy Syndrome

Have a friend who is simply too nice to girls? Is he average in appearance and particularly awkward around women? Does he constantly sulk in self pity? Well, if so, we have a serious case of Chronic Nice Guy Syndrome to address. Typically, a man suffering from CNGS rarely dates and often times lags behind his friends when picking up girls. He tries, unsuccessfully, to bring these unknowing broads back to his home, which most times is far nicer than his confidants, but fails miserably and becomes the laughingstock of his buddies. A man suffering from CNGS tries hard to maintain a certain physique to compete with his friends, but is mostly left unsatisfied with lagging results, usually triggered by mild depression and a mundane desk job.

What you don't realize is that these men are prime husband material. They literally give into whatever their woman desires. Chronic Nice Guys rarely feed the fire during fights. With that said, the women who end up dating "nice guys" wear the pants in the relationship and control many aspects of their rather normal lifestyle. Literally, the only type of woman who's drawn to these men are those on a severe and sometimes unexplainable power trip to control EVERY ASPECT of that poor sap's life.

How can a man suffering from this pathetic illness relieve himself of such? No matter how kind and caring his mother taught him to treat a woman, forget everything. Girls, for whatever reason, love a chase. They desire someone with attitude and an "IDGAF" mentality. Inevitably, it destroys a woman's confidence and self-respect, but just like these trifling hoes, a man with CNGS has a lesson to learn. Finding a respectable balance between both opposite ends of the male dating spectrum is key. Adopt the "IDGAF" mentality when deciding between certain critical decisions, like where to eat and what movie to see. It shouldn't always be the girlfriend's choice. Don't come on too strong at bars: give a girl her space, buy her a drink, partake in small talk, then go find another broad to mirror the gesture. It will make Girl #1 jealous in no time.

Remember, when correcting CNGS, one must find harmony between his natural demeanor and that of the douchebag who picked on him in high school. When left untreated, CNGS may cause extra-marital affairs... their wives will literally find any guy remotely interesting to fuck, because their husbands are simply too boring to bear. On the flip side, men with an "IDGAF" mentality will break-up a similar marriage by cheating on his wife multiple times because he never truly cared for anyone but himself.

See... Balance.

Rarely, Chronic Nice Guy Syndrome may also lead to a long life of lonely misery. Men who are often unwilling to change find themselves in their mid-forties with an average job dodging gay rumors. Who the fuck wants that?

In closing, to all you nice guys longing for a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex: man up. Change your technique, adopt an "IDGAF" mentality during necessary times, start playing the field, and avoid women already in a relationship. I don't know what it is about "nice guys," but they're always targeting women who clearly have a boyfriend or a specified fuck buddy. Good luck, guys!

-dylsny