Invincible-ish

This past Friday I hosted a party for my 24th birthday... and of course, everything didn't go as planned.

Before I even made it to my party, on our walk downtown, we ran into a small obstacle: policemen. I had just left my sister's house near Ashebrooke with a groups of friends. Being the cocky motherfuck I am, I brought with me an open bottle of wine, and open can of Bud Light, and another Bud Light... just in case. Never have I been stopped by a police officer on my walk downtown, with open containers, so I felt invincible.

Two houses down from my sisters were two cop cars posted up on the goddamn sidewalk. Like seriously? I had too many alcoholic beverages in my possession to hide them discreetly in my jacket. I had almost made it by the cop cars before I heard, "Hey, you, stop!" Fuck. Surely, I was getting an open container ticket... maybe even a public intox... hell, it was my birthday party, I bet I was going to get all kinds of fucking tickets they could legally assign me... It's just my luck.

Well, as luck would have it, that officer walked right passed me for my friend, Ronald. Ronald had a single open beer in his possession. I literally stopped dead in my tracks as Ronald dealt with the observant officer. I was not yet in the clear, though. There was a second cop, straight up chillin', right behind me. I ran several scenarios out in my head. I could either continue walking by Ronald and the officer and risk him writing me a ticket as well, or I could take a chance with homeboy policeman behind me.

I took the latter.

I quietly turned around to face the second officer, holding all three of my alcoholic beverages. I said, "I'm really sorry, but I was just handed all of these drinks, we're on our way to my birthday party, can I just dump everything out? Right here, I dump everything out right here." This guy was too kind. He literally said, "Go ahead." Was this a joke? As I poured the beverages into nearby landscaping, I inquired as to whether I'd be written a ticket. "That's up to him, I'm not going to write you one myself, though." So, this guy is letting me go, will the other? Once everything is empty, I tell the officer I use to live in the apartments we are outside (truth) and knew there's a dumpster nearby that I can discard the bottles. I walk, nonchalantly up the apartment's lot and throw everything away.

I scurried off to the rest of the group, all girls, who had been waiting for Ronald and I during the whole fiasco. The cop writing up Ronald didn't notice me as I tried blending in with the girls. I wanted to go talk him out of the ticket, but knew it would inevitably end in my own ticket... and quite possibly extreme sass from my end... which would've probably landed me in the back of the cop car.

Ronald took the open container ticket and we continued our walk to my party. I stayed ahead of the group, determined to get there on time and partly to avoid a visibly-upset friend who had just been written a ticket, when I had not.

My night was off to a great, but shitty start.